Rising from the ashes

By Saumya Dalal

Published on Jan 18, 2024

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Murakami is one of my favorite authors. In Kafka on the Shore, he says "Whatever it is you're seeking won't come in the form you're expecting." It took heartbreak, a layoff, and new medical problems to give me the life I've been craving, and for that, I'm ever so grateful.

This blog post isn't about dwelling in the pain, it's about how I found peace and blessings in it. I got a chance to rebuild, and here's the tools I used to do so.

If you're struggling with starting over, I recommend you...

1. Get a life coach

The answers are within you, but all the noise (self-doubt, societal expectations, among others) make them harder to see. Getting a life coach has been so empowering for me. She taught me helpful frameworks for designing my life more intentionally, helped me identify thoughts driven by my monkey mind, and served as an accountability partner to help me achieve my goals.

2. Create written goals

My dad has been pushing my brother and I to do this since we were kids. His justification: if you don't have measurable written goals, the goal post will keep moving. These ever-growing expectations then cause you to feel permanently unsatisfied with yourself. I write personal OKRs for myself every couple months - the objectives driving the why, and the key results defining the what.

3. Spend time with the people who know you best

Lifelong friends carry shared memories of your childhood. Them reflecting back to you who they think you are is so meaningful because you have no excuse not to believe them. Moving back home and being with them has made me feel enveloped in an all-encompassing love and wholehearted acceptance for who I am today, and who I always have been.

4. Connect with nature and animals

Feeding the stray kitties in Mumbai has been one of my most delightful daily rituals. Being outside with them (one of the cats and I used to have garden time together) reminded me of how little it takes to feel happy and relaxed.

5. Make the art you're resisting

I made paintings about my worst nightmares and wrote a short film about addiction. It was extremely cathartic.

Fin

I hope you too heal from the things that are haunting you. Sending you love and strength.

• Saums